Give Me a Second Chance
by Jyxxie
Summary: Shuichi gets cancer, but shuts down when Yuki shuts him out. Will they fix their relationship before it's too late? Bad summary, just don't want to give too much away. Rated for light language.
1. Chapter 1

First, obvious disclaimer. I don't own Gravitation. Probably for the better.

Quick summary: Shuichi gets cancer. Drama, angst, humor and love ensues. No, not making love. Rating raised for light language though yupyup.  
I may have missed some linebreaks and grammar errors or words.. Half of this was typed late at night and half was typed while babysitting.

Anyways. Enjoy!

* * *

Shuichi stares down at the piece of paper, that which confirms what his doctor had told him. The paper has plenty of descriptions on it, but only one word stands out to him.  
Cancer.  
He folds the paper up and slips it into his pocket, standing up weakly from his sitting position on the park bench. His eyes browse the scene around him; kids playing, dogs running around with their owners.. young lovers. Turning, he heads home to Yuki.

For the past few weeks, he's been feeling sick. The symptoms didn't hit full-blast right away; first the weakness, some off-and-on abdominal pain, and a little weight loss. That lasted for a while, and when he thought things were due to go away--more symptoms appeared. He would hide them from Yuki, as he didn't want to be an inconvenience; the vomiting, appetite loss [he'd told Yuki he'd been eating before he came home]. Within two months he'd gone down a clothes size, though he wore his same clothes anyways.  
Now, with his new diagnosis, he heads home with a heavy feeling in his stomach, pondering what he should do about the situation.

* * *

Upon arriving home, he pauses at the door, rubbing his abdomen gently and taking a breath. He opens the door and pokes his head in, looking around. "Yuuuukiiii!" He spots Yuki sitting at his desk, typing away at the laptop.  
Shuichi heads in, walks over, and sits on the desk between the computer and the author. "Yuki?"  
Yuki takes a breath and averts his gaze upwards, looking at Shuichi's face. "What."  
"Um.. I have a question for you.."  
"Well?" Yuki's not very patient right now, as his focus had been interrupted, causing him to lose his very pleasant train of thought.  
"Um, well.. it's a what if question.." He pauses, and Yuki tenses up a bit more, in aggravation.  
"Yes?"  
"What.. um.. if I died, would you.. what would you do? Would you remember me? Would you miss me? Would you--"  
"No." Yuki looks up at Shuichi with an annoyed expression. "Get up, I'm busy."  
Shuichi stares down at Yuki, his expression one of disbelief, which quickly changes to a pained one. "Yuki.. you really wouldn't--"  
Yuki pulls Shuichi down for a kiss, his surefire way to shut Shuichi up. To his immense surprise, Shuichi pulls away from it and runs for the door. "Wha--Shuichi!"  
Shuichi keeps going, slamming the door behind himself, running as fast and as far as his legs will take him. Several blocks down, his trip is cut short by a sharp pain in his abdomen, interrupting his gait and causing him to hit the ground. He simply lays there, crying not from the pain in his body; rather the pain in his heart.

After a while, he sits up and pulls the paper from his pocket. Unfolding it, he stares at it for a while, only to find his hands are shaking and the paper's getting wet. He looks up into the sky, clutching the paper close, only to find it's a rain of his own tears.  
He folds the paper once more, sliding it into his pocket, shaking his head.  
_Why doesn't he care, why doesn't he care? Even if he knew he still wouldn't care. He only toys with me.. when it's convenient to him! If he doesn't want me around.. I'll grant his wish!_ Shuichi coughs on his strangled breaths and pulls the paper from his pocket, tearing it up and throwing the pieces into the night breeze. He stares after them as they fly into the night, carried on invisible wings by the wind from behind.  
"You'll never have to know, Yuki."

* * *

"Three days."  
"Three days? How will we ever get this new album recorded?!"  
"You know he hasn't been feeling well lately. Maybe he's just taking a few days off for rest," Hiro says to his friends, leaning back in his chair.  
K, the first speaker, replies. "Without even a call? He refuses to answer his phone, calls to his lover aren't any help either."  
"I'll drop by tonight, see if I can't talk to him," Hiro offers, leaning back with worried sigh. _Shuichi.. you'd better be fine.  
_

* * *

Yuki answers the door for Hiro, motioning to the bedroom before heading out himself. His expression is unreadable, though he's avoiding Hiro's gaze.  
Hiro stares after Yuki as he leaves. He heads into the bedroom, to find it dark and Shuichi laying there, blanket covering him. The night stand light is on and Shuichi has.. a book. He's.. reading.  
Hiro pauses, but walks forward, down at Shuichi. "Shuichi, why haven't you.." He trails off, getting a better look at Shuichi. He looks much more tired than he had before, sick even. "Shuichi.. are you all right?"  
"Ya, Hiro." Shuichi gives a smile to Hiro. Not a usual cheery one, but one of the worrisome 'I'll-be-just-fine-don't-worry-about-me' smiles. "I'm sorry I haven't called.. I've been a little sic--" He's cut off by a sudden lurch; he quickly grabs the garbage can by the bed and holds it up, vomiting into it.  
Very little comes out; it's mostly painful dry heaves. He coughs and clutches the can tightly, shaking all over.  
Hiro hates seeing his friend in pain, but knows nothing he can do to stop it. He does, however, note that Shuichi hasn't eaten recently and needs to. "I'm going to go make you some soup."  
Shuichi looks up, shaking his head. "No, I-I'm really not hungry," he says, wiping his mouth off and setting the garbage can down.  
"Nonsense. You haven't eaten all day, I bet."  
"I'm not hungry," Shuichi futilely replies, but closes his eyes and swiftly passes out.  
Hiro watches Shuichi for a minute; he wonders how Shuichi could have gotten so sick so quickly. With a last glance, he heads into the kitchen to find, or make from scratch, some soup for Shuichi.

About an hour later, some sounds from the bathroom alert a cooking Hiro. He turns the heat to low and puts the lid on the pot, then heads to the bathroom. The door's open, Shuichi's clothes lay on the floor, the sound of the shower starting is heard--along with Shuichi letting out a cross between a moan and a whimper.  
Hiro is about to close the door when he spots..blood. He lifts up the article of clothing..Shuichi's boxers. He frowns and sees a few drops of blood on the tile, leading to the shower stall. The curtain is closed, so that's as far as he sees. Shuichi's sure going to hear about this when he's finished, though.

Hiro is sitting on the bed as Shuichi exits from the bathroom, towel around his waist. "Ahh--Hiro, ah.." He frowns and holds the towel tighter, but he can't cover himself fully as he'd like to do. His upper half is exposed to Hiro, who can see the detail in full, aided by the ceiling light which he'd flipped on earlier.  
"Shuichi.. just how sick are you?" he says incredulously, seeing how thin Shuichi had really gotten. "I new you were losing weight, but this much.."  
His ribs, though not sticking out, are visible; he's losing his lean muscles at about the same rate he's losing weight. His skin is pale and his eyes nearly match.. they've lost so much color, so much heart.  
Shuichi frowns and clutches at the towel. "It's just something with my digestive system," he says, and closes his eyes. "The doctor said my prescription will take care of it." He grabs a pair of boxers and shorts from his drawer, heading for the bathroom to put them on. His step has no spring left; just a dull, tired shuffle.  
_Just sick.. no sickness could kill his spirit this badly,_ Hiro thinks to himself, setting out a t-shirt for Shuichi before heading to the kitchen to check is the soup's ready.

Not long after Shuichi had, for the sake of his friend, eaten a full bowl of soup, Shuichi tells Hiro he'll be fine and to call him if he needs anything.  
"I promise," Shuichi says, giving as cheerful a smile as he can muster, then laying on his side and curling into a ball as he hears the door shut.  
He hates lying to his friend.. especially about something this bad. Especially since he's killing himself.

* * *

"A problem with one's digestive system to keep them out of work for over a month? Are you sure that's all it is?" K asks Hiro, who is tuning up his guitar, for lack of nothing else to do.  
"Yeah. That's what he'd told me.. and he looked terrible. Like he's wasting away to nothing." Hiro frowns and pulls out his cell phone. "He hasn't called me since." He's just about to pocket the phone when it blares off ringing in one of Shuichi's random 'music ringers'. He records those for random ringtunes.. random songs. For his friends, of course--but Hiro's the only one who uses them, this one is for Yuki's home number.  
"Shuichi?" He answers as soon as he pushes talk.  
"No, but I need your help with him," replies Yuki's voice. It's lost its usual hard tone; replaced by worry. "He isn't trying anymore.. I think.. I think he's.." Yuki stops talking for a few moments, then just hisses into the phone, "Get over here."

* * *

Upon arrival, a worried and, strangely, somewhat fidgety Yuki answers the door. He motions to the bedroom, where Shuichi lay under the covers. He's halfway asleep; Yuki pulls the covers back for Hiro to have a better look.  
Hiro's breath hitches as he sees what's become of his friend. Shuichi's lost more weight, he's not far from being categorized as 'anorexically' thin; his skin is incredibly pale, he's got a hand to his stomach in a weak attempt to dull pain; his hair has lost all its shine. He looks like he's already dead.. if not for the shaking.  
"Shuichi.. what the hell's happened to you? Why the hell didn't you take him to a doctor?!" Hiro says, turning his attention to Yuki.  
Yuki narrows his eyes, temper flaring up. "I did! I've brought several doctors in; they all said the same thing--some sort of harmless virus! Stupid fucking crocks don't know what they're talking about!"  
Their attention is drawn to Shuichi as he accidentally lets a whine escape his mouth.  
"Shuichi.. Shu don't worry we'll find out what's wrong," Hiro says, rubbing his friend's bony shoulder. "We'll make sure you--"  
"I know what's wrong," Shuichi says, finally speaking; his voice in a low, weak tone. "It doesn't matter anymore.."  
"Are you giving up? Finally?" Yuki says, his tone both sarcastic and harsh. "After never giving up, chasing me 'til you damn near kill me, and now that you get sick, you're giving up?" He stares down at Shuichi, breathing heavily. Honestly, he's terrified--he knows Shuichi's given up, has known for a few days.  
Shuichi only closes his eyes, shaking growing worse as he starts to cry. Hiro glances up hatefully at Yuki for that outburst, trying to comfort Shuichi. "Shu, Shu.. can you tell me what's wrong?" He gets a shake of the head, and tries harder. "Shuichi please.. we can't help you unless we know what's wrong with you."  
"Nobody can help me now!" Shuichi cries, his voice louder, stronger. "It's too far along by now I know it!" he sobs into his pillow, not seeing the stares from the other two men.  
"Shuichi.. what's too far along? You're still here, whatever's wrong, maybe it can--"  
"Just leave me alone so I can die already," Shuichi chokes out, his throat tight, and curls up. His voice relays this as truth--he intends to let himself die here.  
Yuki stares, and in his heart, he feels a sharp pain; he did this. He told Shuichi he wouldn't care if anything happened to him. Another pain hits him; this time, a familiar pain.. he puts a hand to his mouth, closing his eyes. _No, no no no Shuichi, I didn't mean it.. don't do this to yourself.. not because of someone like me.._  
Hiro spots Yuki's 'stress attack' and the blood running down his chin, but tends first to Shuichi. "Shuichi.. please, tell us what's wrong. We need to know."  
Shuichi just clutches the pillow tightly, sobbing furiously into it. He still has the energy to cry, ha.  
Yuki wipes the blood away best he can, shaking and barely unable to stay sitting. He reaches over to touch Shuichi's side, forcing out the words he needs to say, that Shuichi needs to hear. "Shuichi please.. don-don't give up. When I said.. that I.. I didn't mean it. You're too young to die; you have too much energy--the world needs to see your energy." He takes a sharp breath; "Shuichi.. I..need you by me. Don't make me fucking chase after you in death and hunt you down like you did to me in life," he says, gritting his teeth. "Don't--"  
"Yuki.." Shuichi's sobs have stopped; now he's turned to face Yuki, but he can't sit up for how weak he's become. He reaches a hand out to Yuki, who takes it immedately, and pulls Shuichi into a gentle, but firm hug.

* * *

After cleaning up both of them, calling Tohma and taking some aspirin for a stress headache, Hiro heads home, ordering Yuki to call as soon as he finds out. Shuichi still hasn't told either of them what he's ailing from.  
Yuki lays back against pillows stacked up against the headboard, Shuichi laying on his stomach and chest. Both are sick, but both have already communicated to each other that they're not separating now. Yuki though, has to look down when he notices a fresh wave of tears.  
"Shuichi, what's wrong?"  
"I.. I don't want to die.. Yuki I'm afraid of dying.."  
Yuki frowns and runs his hand through Shuichi's hair comfortingly. "You're not going to die. We'll get you some help and soon--"  
"It's gotten too far I know it has!" Shuichi cries, clutching tightly at Yuki's shirt, now wet from Shu's tears.  
"..What has? Shuichi.. tell me what's wrong with you. Please."  
With the exception of a few sniffles, Shuichi goes silent for a minute; then he speaks, voice only a whisper. "Cancer."  
Having not caught it, as Shuichi's face is buried in Yuki's shirt, he asks Shuichi to tell him again.  
Shuichi looks up at Yuki, eyes filled with fear and apology. "I--it's--colon..cancer," he says, averting his gaze as he lays his head on Yuki's chest.  
Shuichi will hear Yuki's heart literally skip a few beats. He sucks in air and stares down at the faded pink hair with its black roots growing in.  
"..Cancer?" He says, as though unable to process it. "...Cancer?" he repeats himself, and stares up at the ceiling.  
Shuichi closes his eyes and whimpers softly. "I'm sorry," he whispers, his voice apologetic.  
"You don't have to apologize for everything, Shuichi," Yuki replies, pulling Shuichi up far enough to kiss him. "I'm the one who's sorry."  
"But Yuki.. I love you.."


	2. Chapter 2

Yuki tells Hiro. Hiro tells K, who tells Tohma, but Ryuichi overhears it and soon the rest of the friends circle learns the news. This all happens in the course of two days, by which time Shuichi's gotten an immediate appointment with his doctor to check just how bad the cancer has gotten.  
Shuichi needs to hold onto Yuki to walk; thanks to not taking care of himself--or eating--Shuichi can't support himself alone now. He keeps his eyes down, away from Yuki. _I'm sorry Yuki, you never meant it, and now I've done this to us.._ he has to hold himself to keep from crying, and only clutches more tightly to Yuki.

* * *

Many hours and several tests later, the results return. His previous doctor walks up, looking at an exhausted, sleeping Shuichi, then Yuki. "Given his choice of information disposal from before, I'll tell you the information."  
Yuki gives a little nod, frowning. _When he asked me that question.. he already knew what was wrong._  
"His cancer has spread. Not dramatically, but enough to reduce our chances of getting it all, and making the treatment.. longer, more complicated."  
"Will he live?"  
"Most likely, though there is always that chance," he says, and takes a breath. "We'll have to take the largest part out by surgery.. but after that, we would have to erase the remainder of it." He holds up a few scans of Shuichi's cancerous colon; not photos, but scans. He points to the main area, and some surrounding spots. "This we'll take by surgery, as well as this smaller one.. the smaller ones, as well as some you can't see on here, we will remove with radiation therapy." He pauses, so Yuki can absorb this.  
When he finally gets a weak nod, he continues. "Since the cancer has spread, we can't track all of it; we'd like to use chemotherapy to treat him further."  
"Chemotherapy.." Yuki looks down at Shuichi, who is already weaker than he ever should be. "Is that.. wise? In his current state?"  
"Honestly, it's his only choice." He hands a folder of information to Yuki. "All of the information for him is in here. Info on all the treatments, on the surgery, diet recommendations, how to help him regain heath for strength for surgery and the treatments."  
Yuki takes the thick folder from the doctor and gives a nod. "What.. is the chance that, with all of these treatments, everything will work? That he'll live?"  
Though he already has the answer, the doctor looks at Shuichi for a minute. "If you can get his spirit up, and get him feeling better.. about 60%."  
Yuki watches the doctor leaving the room, and finds himself spinning. He quickly grabs onto Shuichi's bed, trembling. "Only.. only..."

Shuichi awakens an hour or so later, stirring with a soft moan. "Yuki.."  
Yuki, who had been sitting in the chair reading over everything, several times; looks up. "Shuichi.. are you feeling any better?"  
"A little better." Shuichi looks at the IV in his arm and sighs. "What did the doctor say?"  
Yuki looks down at the papers, remembering the survival chance the doctor had told him. "He said you.. will need surgery.. and chemotherapy.."  
Shuichi's eyes brighten a little, something that hasn't happened since he had the first diagnosis. "So I'm going to be all right?"  
Yuki looks up, staring into those eyes. His heart wrenches and he gives a weak smile. "Yeah. You're going to be all right."

* * *

Getting Shuichi back to his previous vigor took less than everyone thought. Some good food, encouragement by his friends--more importantly, Yuki--Shuichi's still stick-thin, but up and walking, even running; he even visits work to say hello to everyone and let them know he's not dead, haha. Though this might have been a mistake, as Ryuichi had tackled him to the ground, asking Shuichi how he was, if he was okay, was he going to live, if they could sing again one last time, how long was he sick, and a few other things. Shuichi just smiled and answered with the minimum, letting Ryuichi know he'd be fine and they could sing together again, for sure.

The day of the surgery had come and gone. Shuichi had come out; the operation was successful, but when Shuichi was shown what was inside of him, had to get up out of the bed and run to the bathroom to vomit. Yuki managed just a grimace, but did rush to aid Shuichi--who shouldn't have been up, for risk of pulling apart stitches. Everything turned out all right though; after a few days, Shuichi was released to go home, where he could recuperate for a short while before the radiation therapy began.

Radiation therapy began just after he began chemotherapy; the radiation is simple and easy--get him in position, target, and shoot. He left after that, feeling tired--he gets tired rather easily--and headed home, traveling with Yuki as his driver.

* * *

Shuichi has been undergoing his chemo for a few weeks now; but it still shocks him when he finds his hair pulling out while he's brushing his hair. He frowns uneasily and looks at his reflection; he checks it thoroughly, pulling out a bit more as he brushes his entire head. He finds it not too noticeable, but grabs a hat anyway, deciding to head out for a bit. He heads for the door, but Yuki is there to stop him.  
"Where are you going?" He looks down at Shuichi, checking his choice of clothing--baggy pants, t-shirt with jacket, baseball cap with Nittle Grasper's name on it.  
"To the mall," Shuichi says with a smile, being completely honest. "I've been inside too long; I just want to go out for a while." "Do you want a ride? Or are you going to take a cab?" Shuichi pauses. He does like to go out with Yuki.. but Yuki hasn't worked on his writing in so long! "I think I'll take the bus," Shuichi replies, leaning up to kiss Yuki goodbye. He revels in the fact that Yuki not only welcomes it, but intensifies it. With a final wave, Shuichi heads off, wallet with cards and cash in his pocket. He plans to do some light shopping.

At the mall, Shuichi heads in, browsing around. He goes to his favorite places; the clothes store he likes so much; he has to giggle when he sees a sign saying 'Shuichi Shindou shops here!'. He browses around and picks out some clothes, trying them on in the dressing room. He finds an outfit that fits his thinner frame, but makes him look at regular size, almost. He hmms to himself, and decides to get it. He likes the snug feel; it's something he hasn't felt since he'd gotten sick.  
After paying, he points up to the sign. "Did you ever ask Shuichi's permission for putting that up there?"  
The manager, who was just putting something in the computer, looks back. "Huh? Oh, well, of course we did!"  
"Oh, you did? I don't think you did," Shuichi replies, lifting an eyebrow.  
The manager narrows his eyes. "Yea? How would you know what goes on with the celebrities?"  
Shuichi looks around; coast is clear, no actual customers. He pulls the hat off and looks at the manager.. who is staring, and looks like he could smack himself.  
"M-Mr. Shindou.. I.. I apologize.. I should have--"  
"Don't worry about it! I do shop here," he says with a grin, putting the hat back on. "I like your selection." He waves, headed out, but has to stop and give an autograph to one of the female clerks. Once free, he walks through the mal, browsing the shops.. and finds a wig shop. He stares, realizing he needs to go in here. A quick glance around and he ducks in, browsing the selection, and soon finds himself at the desk.  
"Um.. excuse me.. I need a wig made," he says, feeling both nervous and awkward.  
The woman looks up at him and smiles. "Do you have something in mind?"  
"Ah, yes.." He pulls his hat off. "My hair, only thicker."  
"Okay. What's it for? Costume, loss of hair..?"  
"Ah.. loss of hair," he admits quietly. He looks up at her as she writes it down.  
"All right. For you I assume?" At his nod, she pulls out a measuring tape and measures his head at various spots. "All right. After purchase, it'll be done in a few days."  
Shuichi nods and works out the price with her. He pays extra, since he requests real hair to be used.

After finishing that, he heads to the music store to relax his nerves and release his spirit. He browses around, listening to some of the sample tunes; he spots the Nittle Grasper CDs and chuckles, reading the track listings. He checks out the new artists section, and picks up his own CD. After reading the track listing and setting it down, he goes to the 'new artists' listening kiosk, singing loosely, not too loud, to different songs he'd heard on the radio.  
However, when his song comes on, he begins to sing normal volume, unaware of what he's doing--or the people looking up and pointing.  
He's definitely feeling better; he hasn't sung in quite a while, and pushes the button to listen to the rest of the track, singing along with it. When it ends, he grins, but said grin disappears as he turns around--finding a crowd of people, mostly comprised of fangirls, standing there with smiling faces. _...Crap._  
Unable to escape, Shuichi is forced to stay there and sign quite a few autographs; he's even requested by most of the crowd to sing Rage Beat. Looking around, and hoping he doesn't attract the rest of the mall, he grins sheepishly.  
"Well I don't think you want to hear my sing today.. I'm not feeling very good honestly.." He gets whines and complaints and pleads, about how well he sang Spicy Marmalade and why wouldn't he sing Rage Beat as well.  
Shuichi finally gives in and sings Rage Beat for them, and the crowd cheers for him. Shuichi can't help but enjoy this; after all, he lives for this, and sings his heart out, putting on quite a [free] show. After finishing, he can feel himself panting and wearing down quite a bit, so he decides to finish up.  
He waves to the crowd and says that he'll be out in public another time, so he has to go now. He manages to escape with that, though much running, ducking and eluding follows before he's fully in the clear. Though he enjoyed the rush and such, he's exhausted now, and retreats to calling Hiro to pick him up.

Before heading home, Shuichi hangs out with Hiro for a while. They talk and laugh, Hiro shows Shuichi some new music, and Shuichi sings out some random on-the-spot lyrics that Hiro says are very good.  
"Naa, they're just random," Shuichi says, leaning back.  
"Yeah, but I can feel the meaning from them." Hiro writes them down and hands the notebook to Shuichi, who looks at them.  
"Yeah.." Shuichi smiles and laughs. "Today at the mall.. I accidentally sang one of my songs in the music store."  
Hiro stares at Shuichi. "And you're still alive?"  
Shuichi laughs and shakes his writing hand a bit. "After signing about a thousand autographs and singing another song for them, I got away."  
Hiro laughs and holds a soda out to Shuichi. "Busy day for you then, huh?"  
Shuichi waves his hand to the soda, something he's not supposed to have for a while. "Mhm. But soon I'm gonna go home to Yuki~!" He grins happily. "He's finally being nice to me. And I'm gonna be fine so he's not just being nice to me 'cause I'm sick!"  
Hiro hides the amazement that Yuki is being so nice to Shuichi, and grins. "Good. I guess he finally decided to show how he really feels."  
Shuichi grins. "Yeah. Life's great!"

* * *

Chemotherapy has soon stolen all his hair; he's now wearing his wig, which looks identical to his hairstyle, and has gotten false eyebrows which look real as well. He's coping rather well; his spirits are defying his weakness and fatigue. He's upbeat and happy, his strength is building up more every day.  
He soon opts for a concert, announcing that he has some new material and more energy than he can get out on his boring schedule.  
His band mates are glad to hear this. In little time, they've matched music to lyrics, the concert is arranged, and they perform.  
Hiro's glad to have another song with a guitar solo, especially one with much energy; Suguru is glad to have a slightly different style to play to, and Shuichi's throwing around so much energy and heart on the stage that a watching Ryuichi is pointing and laughing. "Shuichi Shuichi is really shining today!"  
"That he is," replies Tohma, watching them with a smile. "You'd never know anything was wrong with him."  
"Ya ya, but he's getting all better!" Ryuichi holds Kumagoro close. "He's getting better and shining so brii--" He stops, as does the crowd, as Shuichi's wig becomes loose--and hits the stage next to him.  
Shuichi realizes immediately what's happened and yanks it back up, pulling it back on and straightening it--all within two seconds. He stares out at the crowd with a red face, and looks back at the guys. "Don't stop. Next song!" He says this in a hushed voice, and the band starts up again.  
Though Shuichi's friends knew about his condition, they didn't realize he'd lost his hair and was wearing a wig. They are, however, glad to see that  
Shuichi [mostly] was unaffected by 'losing his head' onstage, the only lasting effect being a blush after those last two songs. He then says something that shocks the crowd--but something that shocks everyone else even more. Hiro, Fujisaki, Tohma, K, Ryuichi, Sakuma, even Yuki--who's watching from home.  
"Thank you for a great concert! All proceeds are being donated to the Japan Cancer Society!" He waves and heads offstage, leaving his friends dumbstruck.  
He'd never discussed this with any of them--certainly not his seniors--but he's doing this.

He hears about it later, that's for sure, but he stays firm in his stand, even while discussing it with Tohma, who would prefer to reinvest much of the money in the band's promotion and production. Shuichi finally says that Tohma can have as much as is needed to cover the costs of the concert--but the rest is being donated.  
Tohma gives and acknowledges Shuichi's decision, doing just as he asks.

* * *

At home later, Shuichi leans back with Yuki and grins. "Ahh, it felt great to get out there and perform again? Did you watch me on tv like you said you would?" He looks up into Yuki's eyes as Yuki brushes the hair from them.  
"Mmm. I did, and I noticed you dropped something." He pulls the wig off and waves it around, and Shuichi's face reddens. "Wha--hey, give that back!" He reaches for it, and Yuki chuckles.  
"You're at home now, give your head a rest from it. I've seen you scratching, I know it irritates your head."  
Shuichi's face reddens and he gives a stubborn pout, but relaxes once Yuki unzips Shu's shirt and starts rubbing the skin. Shuichi's nearly back to his previous weight.

After a bit of peaceful silence, Shuichi starts talking again. "Aaah. I can't believe I was going to let myself die! What was I thinking? Life's so fun! I should've known you never meant that, Yuki!" He grins and leans up to kiss Yuki's cheek. "Now that I'm gonna be fine, we can be happy. If I wasn't going to be okay then I would think you're only being nice to me because I didn't have very long. But now I know.." He smiles and looks up into Yuki's face, expecting to see the same--but instead seeing a pained face looking out the window.  
He tilts his head. "Yuki? Yuki what's wrong? Are you feeling okay?"  
Yuki closes his eyes, takes a breath, and looks down at Shuichi. "..Yeah. I..want you to feel all right too. You're doing so well though, you shouldn't.. you'll be fine; nothing can happen.. right?"  
Shuichi blinks, sitting himself up. "Yuki, what are you talking about?"  
Apparently, being a writer can't help words form any more easily for a situation like this. "When.. I was in the hospital, with you, the first time.. the doctor said your survival chance was 60%. You've been doing so well though, he must be wrong." Yuki smiles, but Shuichi doesn't.  
"So.. you knew.. that I could have died, but you.. you lied to me about it?"  
"No.. I.. I didn't want to lie, I just wanted you to focus on--"  
"You lied to me!" Shuichi yells, and his fears lurch up on him. "I--I could die tomorrow and I'm not even prepared! I could die tonight! You--" he starts crying. "You lied to me about that! You lied to me about everything! About really caring for me--you only pity me because I'm not going to live!" He gets up, staring with sadness, pain and hatred in his eyes. "Well if you don't care.. then I.." His voice is wavering, and he takes a deep breath, walks to the door, and speaks before leaving. "Goodbye Yuki!"


	3. Chapter 3

Weeks go by; still Yuki does not see or hear from Shuichi. The last he's heard of anything Shuichi or Bad Luck is the tabloids finding out just what Shuichi has--colon cancer--and someone even managed to get an interview from him--a person from a reputable magazine. He reads the article again, the last piece of Shuichi he has right now.

JPOP: Shuichi Shindou, welcome. It's been around that you have cancer. Can you tell us more?

Shuichi: Sure. What would you like to know?

JPOP: Well, what type of cancer is it?

Shuichi: Haha, it's uh.. colon cancer.

JPOP: That's not a fun one. Neither of them are, but others are less..embarrassing, to talk about.

Shuichi: Not really; colon cancer doesn't automatically mean the a.. the colon is a, about, six-foot-long part of the large intestine. The cancer can be anywhere inside there. Mine was in the upper area.

JPOP: You say was. Is it gone now?

Shuichi: I hope so. I've had surgery, radiation and chemotherapy for it, so I really hope it's gone.

JPOP: And if it's not?

Shuichi: Well.. I'd try to cure it again. If it ends up.. incurable, well, I'd have to get my affairs in order--which would include a last concert or tour.

JPOP: Even if you were dying, you'd perform?

Shuichi: Under reasonable health, of course. I love making music.

JPOP: Is there anyone special supporting you in your fight?

Shuichi: My family at N-G, and at home. My fans, I think too. All my fans are special to me as well.

JPOP: What about Eiri Yuki?

Shuichi: Mhm. He's been supporting me since the beginning. I thank him for all that he's done.

JPOP: What do you dislike most about the cancer?

Shuichi: Well.. the worst part is that chance that you didn't take care of it in time, and you don't have much time left. The chemotherapy isn't fun either, but I think one of the worst parts.. if pity.

JPOP: Oh?

Shuichi: Yeah. People can ignore you or wave you off when you're fine, but if they find something wrong, they can pity you and act like your best friend, or like they always want to hang out with you.

JPOP: Have you had much of that yet?

Shuichi: A bit. But why waste time with that? There's so much else to be doing.

JPOP: What else would you like to be doing?

Shuichi: First, finding something to keep a wig on during concerts. [laughs] But, really, I'd still like to do what I've been doing--work on my music, hang out with my friends, live life.

JPOP: If you learned you only had a week left to live.. what would you do?

Shuichi: A week? Well.. the same thing I just said, but I'd probably fit at least two concerts in. My last concert has to be a big one. Not just for people to remember me by, but something big enough to.. to remember, even in death. Something that even my spirit will feel, forever.

JPOP: Beautiful. Honestly. [pause] Thank you very much for the information and insight, Mr. Shindou.

Yuki stares at the words for a while; as a writer--and knowing Shuichi--he can read the lack of emotion in the statement about himself. He tosses the magazine onto the desk, sighing and running at his temples. He doesn't call anyone. Tohma, Mika, even Shuichi. He's still hopeful, but inside, he feels he's lost Shuichi. Maybe, this time, for good.

* * *

"Why don't you call him?"  
Shuichi looks up to see Hiro standing over him. "Wha--Hiro? I don't need to call him," Shuichi says, leaning back into the fluff of the couch. He's been rooming with Hiro since he left Yuki's.  
"You've been depressed ever since you left."  
Shuichi snorts. "I have not. I've done an interview and I've been writing some new music and--"  
"And your new music is dark. It's not like your other music. One song about anger, one song about death; what next, one about necrophilia?"  
Shuichi looks up in confusion. "What's necrophilia?"  
Hiro picks up the dictionary and hands it to Shuichi, who, once reading it, drops the book with a horrified look. "My music isn't getting THAT dark!"  
"Fujisaki and I aren't playing to your new songs," Hiro says, and puts the papers onto Shuichi's lap. "Either cheer up or give up." He turns and walks out. It hurts him to say something so harsh to his friend, but his subtle hints haven't been working lately.  
Shuichi pockets the songs and puts his hat on, getting up and walking out of the building. With a sigh, he begins wandering the streets; he doesn't know what to do. Go back to Yuki? Go to the doctor to see how well he's coming along?  
He heads to the park to think for a while, sitting on the bench not far from his first encounter with Yuki. After a few hours of thinking, stressing, relaxing, reasoning, and complaining, all with himself; he looks up at the moon and gives a little smile. He's decided. Tomorrow he'll go talk to Yuki.  
Tomorrow he'll find out the truth.  
Tomorrow he'd do it. Tomorrow..

* * *

Shuichi awakens, rather stiffly, on the park bench in the morning. He finds people near him--fangirls, a paparazzi, and a few regular curious people. He sits up with an erk, and gets an annoyed look.  
"What, can't a celebrity enjoy a night under the stars in peace?" Ooh, grumpy. He rubs at his arm, which has a sore spot from the way he'd been sleeping. Everybody leaves, but at least they understand his grumpiness.  
He looks out at the bright city, and with a smile, gets up to go talk to Yuki and fix everything.

Yuki hears the knock on the door and sighs. He shuts the drawer, covering the gun back up with the clothes. He wasn't going to do anything; he was only thinking about..choices, possibilities. What ifs.  
He opens the door, putting on his best face of indifference--but this disappears into relief when he sees Shuichi. "Shuichi, I--"  
"Yukiiii!" Shuichi leaps onto Yuki, knocking them both down. He grins and sits up, still on top of Yuki.  
"Yuki?"  
"Yes Shuichi?" Yuki looks up at Shuichi, not bothering to push him off.  
"Did you mean it? When you said you loved me?"  
"I never said that."  
"When you said if I died you would too?"  
"Yes, I said that."  
"Did you mean it?"  
"Every word."  
Shuichi's face brightens and gains a grin. "Yukiiiii will you go out with meeee?"  
Yuki groans and lays his head back on the floor. "I suppose it's too late to take that back."  
Shuichi pouts. "Yuki! Don't say things you don't mean!"  
"All right. Get up and get ready."  
Shuichi leaps up, running off to the bathroom for a shower to get ready.  
This gives Yuki time to find a nicer shirt, a bit more dressy; and power on his computer to check his email. He hasn't touched the laptop since Shuichi left.  
His inspiration has returned.

Hot dogs.  
Cotton candy.  
Ice cream.  
Rollercoaster.  
Soda.  
Pretzels.  
What does not belong?  
Shuichi soon learns, after consuming all of the junk food he could find, then taking a ride on the coaster. He manages to find a garbage can before allowing himself to return the aforementioned foods to the outside of his body.  
Yuki laughs and hands Shuichi some soda to get the flavor from his mouth. "You're not supposed to eat any of that anyway. It's not good for your..colon." He smirks, and Shuichi's face reddens.  
"Yuki! That's not funny!" He straightens out his hair, which had become rather windswept from his ride.  
"You held onto that the whole ride, didn't you?"  
"I don't want to lose my hair on the rollercoaster!" Shuichi protests, face keeping its red.  
Yuki can't help himself; and lets out a loud, regular laugh. This actually frightens Shuichi, who's very, very not used to it.  
Yuki only laughs harder at the expression, and Shuichi can't help but get the biggest smile he's ever had.  
"Yukiiiii is so happyyyyy!" He dances around a bit, only stopping when he sees Yuki has sat down on a bench. As soon as he does, an arm reaches out to pull Shuichi close for a good, deep kiss.  
Shuichi looks up at Yuki when they pull apart, his eyes bright and sparkling.  
Yuki just smiles. A pure, honest I-am-finally-happy smile. "What? You said it. Yuki is happy."

* * *

"Well? How is it?"  
Shuichi pops up behind the doctor to see the chart and check for anything unusual. Unfortunately, he doesn't know how to read the scans.  
"..Phenomenal. I've checked several times.. there seems to be nothing left."  
Shuichi's heart lifts and he leaps up, bounding over to Yuki--who steps to the side, causing Shuichi to miss and hit the wall. "You're sure?" Yuki.  
"Unless there was some that went undetected, but it's highly unlikely. Just the same, have Mr. Shindou have regular testing to check for recurring cancerous cells."  
"All right. You'll do that won't you Shui--" He's cut off as Shuichi leaps onto Yuki, hugging him.  
"I'm cured I'm cured I can spend my life with Eiri now!"  
Yuki lets out a soft groan. He can't help but smile; but he will ask for some tranquilizers later. Either for himself or to put in Shuichi's food. Is he that evil?  
Hell yeah.  
Shuichi pauses and looks up at Yuki's now-grinning face. "Yuuukiii? Are you really happy too?"  
"Yeah." He rubs Shuichi's head, clearing out the thoughts of putting Shuichi to sleep unwillingly.  
Shuichi grins. "I can't wait to tell everyone!"

* * *

Shuichi impatiently gets ready in the morning; showering, eating, etc. He gives Yuki a kiss to leave; but is stopped with a strong embrace. He willingly allows Yuki to keep him here as they kiss; Shuichi may be in a hurry but this is something he'd never rush.

When Shuichi arrives at work, he walks in with a big grin. "Good news!" He says, just as K does.  
Hiro and Suguru look up from working to some of Shuichi's less-used lyrics.  
"I'm cured!" He dances around a bit, and Hiro just laughs.  
"The doctor gave you the all-clear?"  
"Yup!" Shuichi grins and heads into the studio. "Come on, let's get started! I have some new lyrics already."  
Suguru heads in after Shuichi. "Finally! We can get some work done."

* * *

End!

I hope you enjoyed this story. It was incredibly fun to think and type up.  
Reviews are always welcome. c:


End file.
